Monthly Archives: December 2007

Feel Good Friday: Funky Funky Christmas Edition

Presenting: The reason NKOTB never made it a as a rap group.

Despite the fact that I now really REALLY want to have a “funky funky” Christmas, I am left with a somewhat empty feeling. Where the heck is Jonathan Knight? What, did they get rid of him once Joey’s voice changed and they no longer needed an alto (seriously, I think that was the downfall of the group right there — he’s no Peter Brady)? Was he too busy boffing Tiffany behind Sanrio Surprises in some Mid-western mall somewhere (hellooooo kitty!)? Did he have a funky funky panic attack before heading out on stage, but with no Oprah Winfrey to coddle him, he instead convinced Arsenio to freestyle-cover for him? I want the E True Hollywood Funky Funky Story!

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They Call Me Nicole

Katie Holmes has revealed that husband Tom Cruise’s two adopted children with Nicole Kidman call her ‘mom.’

Katie lifts the lid on her relationship with Isabelle and Connor in a new magazine interview to promote her latest movie, Mad Money. Robo-mom tells Parade: “[Tom’s] first two children are incredible, really smart and kind. They call me ‘Mom.’ So Tom understands the female bond, and he loves it.”

In fact, Katie seems to be more popular with her step children than their adoptive mother. Just last month, Nicole – who is rarely seen with her children – told the U.K.’s GMTV that her kids call her ‘Nicole.’ She confessed: “My kids don’t call me mommy, they don’t even call me mom. They call me Nicole, which I hate and tell them off for it.”

This saddens me more than it probably should, considering I don’t personally know any of the parties involved, and I am relatively sure Connor and Isabella are actually rental children, nearing the end of their “cute years only please” contracts. Still, even if Nicole is simply their lessee, it’s kind of sad that they’ve embraced Katie as their mother. Of course, I can always comfort myself with the assumption that the kiddos are too smart for any of this, and all that is behind Katie’s assertion that they call her “mom” is a clever PR person who is trying to make her seem warm and maternal, inadvertently at Nicole’s expense. Or maybe Isabella and Connor just have some kind of bizarre aluminum allergy that they don’t want to risk aggravating by getting too close.  

 

 

Rock This, Santa!

Come to think of it, Santa could use a little refresh. Click on the below to see the results of a recent focus group. 

And the train wrecks on…

Britney Spears’ younger sister Jamie Lynn Spears has announced in OK! Magazine that she is pregnant. Meanwhile her mom Lynne Spears’ book on Christian parenting, due in Spring 2008, has been indefinitely delayed.Us Weekly reports Jamie Lynn’s father – Lynne’s ex-husband Jamie – is “furious” that mother and daughter sold their story to OK! and “devastated” at the news that his youngest child is pregnant. Jamie Lynn supposedly got a $1 Million back-end deal for the interview.

 If this blog had sound effects, I would have a needle scratching right here. Lynn Spears was writing a Christian parenting book?  For reals? This is the mother of Britney Spears we’re talking about here. Not exactly the person 9 out of 10 Christian parents want their children to turn into. I can’t believe Britney’s pantiless, coked out, deposition dodging, child neglecting, paparazzi beating antics didn’t automatically disqualify Lynn Spears from writing a parenting book. What were they going to call it? “If I Raised Good Children, Here’s How It Would Have Happened?”  This family is seriously one washboard jug band away from taking up residence in the Ozarks and calling it a day.     

Merry Christmas from MadMegan!

Click here to send your friends and loved ones this very special e-card from MadMegan.net. It’s uncharacteristically cheery!   Christmas e-card  

Kate Cruise

The ever-reliable (did I say reliable? I meant “highly suspect”) 7 Confessions Blog is reporting a source-less rumor that Katie Holmes is not letting Tom change her last name to Cruise.

Scientology freak Tom Cruise wants his wife Katie Holmes to take his name and be officially Kate Cruise. But I guess Katie is much smarter than anyone knows and she tells Tom NO!! 
“I am so tired of being told what to wear, what to say, what to eat and even what to think. I can’t stand it anymore,” Katie said. …

I really wish there were a source linked from this story, because I REALLY want to believe that Katie went on record about being forced to wear, eat, say, and think what the Scientologists tell her to. Maybe her handlers (oops, I meant “bffs! Natch!”) wandered away for a moment, and she made an ill-fated bid for verbal freedom. Stay strong Katie. Your day will come!

Scary Poppins

Hide your children folks. She rides in on the wind!

I think that song will frighten me for the rest of my life. Not to mention the fact that I am now convinced Mary Poppins is the Demon Nanny of Fleet Street. Shudder. Maybe I should go watch everybody’s favorite feel good romcom, The Shining.