Presenting: The reason NKOTB never made it a as a rap group.
Despite the fact that I now really REALLY want to have a “funky funky” Christmas, I am left with a somewhat empty feeling. Where the heck is Jonathan Knight? What, did they get rid of him once Joey’s voice changed and they no longer needed an alto (seriously, I think that was the downfall of the group right there — he’s no Peter Brady)? Was he too busy boffing Tiffany behind Sanrio Surprises in some Mid-western mall somewhere (hellooooo kitty!)? Did he have a funky funky panic attack before heading out on stage, but with no Oprah Winfrey to coddle him, he instead convinced Arsenio to freestyle-cover for him? I want the E True Hollywood Funky Funky Story!