New Jersey High Schools Are A Buzz Kill

A New Jersey high school has announced that it plans to implement alcohol testing on its students, starting next month. Basically, they can randomly test any student’s urine with this “EtG,” and it will tell you if the student has had alcohol anytime in the last 80 hours.

“The test is the EtG urine test and scientists say it’s more sensitive and telling than a Breathalyzer and other tests because it checks for ethyl glucuronide, which stays in your system for 80 hours…. In total, the district has been issued a $120,000 federal grant to fund the test…. Pequannock school officials promise students who test positive would not be punished by them, instead parents would be told. The students would also still keep their parking privileges and school activities.”

Is it just me, or does this seem like a glaring violation of privacy? I didn’t drink in high school, so this is not coming from a place of retrospective guilt. I just think it seems unnecessarily nosy of the school, especially since they admit they are only testing the kids so they can run and tell their parents. Hey Pequannock, nobody likes a tattletale!

Hairy Potter

I debated about whether or not to post this picture from Daniel Radcliffe’s new play, Equus. One the one hand, it’s basically one step up from child porn. On the other hand, that is a very important step.

Then, I decided that Daniel’s performance in Extras basically gave girls the world over license to lust after him, even without starring in a play where he appears fully nude. I Don’t Like You in That Way has the rest of the pics, and if you’re hoping they’re less salacious, you might be disappointed.

Welcome!

Hello, and welcome to MadMegan.net! Isn’t it way prettier than my old blog? I am sure we’ll all be happy here. Enjoy all the new features (I think the search button is super fancy!), and feel free to leave me lots of comments.

— Megan

K-Fed’s Rollin’ VIP (Into My Heart)

If the Doomsday Clock didn’t convince you that the end is near, this ought to do it. I might actually be gaining a grudging respect for K-Fed. It started back when he sued Britney for custody. Now he’s making fun of himself in this Nationwide commercial.

I love nothing more than a celebrity who lampoons themself (see Gyllenhaal, Jake, and Radcliffe, Daniel ) so K-Fed better watch out before he worms his way into my cold, black heart. I even kind of love the way he says “what?” when the manager yells at him. Oh Lord, what have I become?

Your Daily Marine Biology Lesson

The frilled shark, Chlamydoselachus anguineus, is a primitive shark species, of the family Chlamydoselachidae in the order Hexanchiformes. Distribution is worldwide, but they are very rarely found in shallow water. The sharks are usually found at depths of between 120 m and 1280 m. They typically eat squid, and deepwater bony fish. (Source: Wikipedia)

I guess it’s a really good thing that I don’t go down to 120 m when I scuba dive, because this thing freaks the crap out of me. Why does it look like it’s half shark, half tadpole? Why do his gills give me the willies? Apparently this shark was brought up from deep water, into captivity, and died shortly thereafter. And I am totally okay with that. Mankind is much nicer to cute, fuzzy endangered species.

Tyra Banks Is Healthy

America’s Next Top Model is my favorite guilty pleasure, and as such I harbor a secret love for Tyra Banks. Although I am not legally allowed to go into details about how I personally know her (confidentiality agreements apparently include blogs, darn it), I will say that she is a smart, grounded individual who is serious about her career, and loves to play up the drama mama on both of her television shows. I will also say that she is very tall, slender, and lovely in person (despite needing to reconsider her weave). So when I hear her being bashed in every media outlet as “fat,” I do take umbrage. Today, she addressed this issue , stating that she is a very healthy 161 pounds. On her 5’10” frame, that is a respectable weight, though certainly a lot more than she sported in her modeling days. She addresses the media’s nastiness, saying:
“I’ve made millions of dollars with the body I have, so where’s the pain in that?” she says. “If I was in pain, I would have dieted. The pain is not there — the pain is someone printing a picture of me and saying those (horrible) things.”
In this era of too-skinny starlets suing newspapers for exposing their eating disorders (seriously, Keira Knightley, who do you think you’re fooling?), it seems like a glaring hypocrisy to have to do the same to defend a healthy body. I applaud Tyra for appearing on her show in a bikini today, and hope that this small measure will help usher in a new age of body-confident role models.

Happy Birthday Neil!

Just a little birthday tribute to the man who makes my soul sing, Neil Diamond. Here’s to another sixty-six years of musical/spoken word genius.

For Your Consideration

A hearty congratulations to all the recently announced Oscar nominees! The list of leading actors alone is proof that no early 1990’s television show is too small to launch an award-winning film career. Leonardo DiCaprio has Growing Pains, Will Smith has Fresh Prince, even Forest Whitaker has an episode of Diff’rent Strokes on his résumé. But, it is my pick for best actor, Ryan Gosling, who delighted millions of pre-teens girls with his stint on the Mickey Mouse Club (re-named MMC, for that “oh-so-cool” factor). Watch the following clip and have “Faithful” stuck in your head all day long.

PS Peter O’Toole? You are severely lacking in the bad sitcom requirement for this category. You better start digitally inserting yourself into some Facts of Life reruns (preferably as Edna Garrett’s husband, who has been lost at sea low these many years) before the category gets wind of this!

Your Morning Upper

If you took the time to read the story attached to yesterday’s post, you are probably still hopelessly disturbed. Below is my way of making it up to you. If it doesn’t quite do the trick, visit cuteoverload.com for a reminder of all that is good and kind in the world. And I will try to keep things on the light-hearted end for a while.

An American Crime

Hey, did you know Catherine Keener and James Franco were in a new movie at Sundance? Did you also know that it’s based on the true story of one of the most horrific torture/murders in American history? The trailer seems gruesome, but if you’re left curious, check out this link. Warning, this is not for the faint of heart. Or for anyone who loves kids, or respects human life.