Monthly Archives: May 2007

All Aboard the Hogwarts Express!

Well folks, I am already planning my vacation for late 2009. You might think it’s a tad early, but that might be because you haven’t seen the following press release:

Universal Studios is opening up a Harry Potter theme park in Florida complete with the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Forbidden Forest and Hogsmeade village. “The Wizarding World of Harry Potter,” will open in late 2009 in Orlando, officials said Thursday.
“The plans I’ve seen look incredibly exciting, and I don’t think fans of the books or films will be disappointed,” said author J.K. Rowling, who has been working with a creative team to make sure the park resembles the books and films.

The Potter park will allow visitors to view the iconic locations in Rowling’s magical world, like Dumbledore’s office in Hogwarts and the shops in Hogsmeade….

Is it wrong for an adult to be so excited by this? I am already buying my ticket on the Hogwarts Express, which hopefully will be delivered by a white owl, dropping the envelope through my chimney. Well, I don’t have a chimney, but hey, that is what magic is for, right?
Oops, gotta go, my pumpkin juice is getting cold, and I don’t want to be late for my secret Dumbledore’s Army meeting! (Please don’t judge me.)
Phoenix

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An Open Letter, y’all!

I’m not blogging about Lindsay Lohan’s weekend adventures because, frankly, I am a little bored with her antics, and I don’t want to encourage her. Also, according to Britney Spears, she is just going to keep making mistakes and there is nothing any well intentioned but scathingly sarcastic blog entries can do about it.

(The following excerpt has been whittled down from the original 878 words,

click here to read the whole thing.)

… I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn’t be here.
Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don’t think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn’t know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.
… Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me.
… It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a “bitch.”
… I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me.
… I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that you want…and that is to be happy. It is just so weird because everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That’s God’s job. I can’t wait to meet him…or her.

Firstly, I love that Britney looks up to Tyra Banks. She finally gets to be someone’s role model! It’s like a dream come true for our lil TyTy! Secondly, Britney Spears is really wheedling her way into my heart here (I think it’s the line about unwittingly paying for bar tabs and dinners – I love that she is a little cheapskate, stars are just like us!) She just wants to be happy people. That is all any of us want.
All right Britney, we have an unofficial truce. But the second I catch a glimpse of your whoo-ha, it’s over, got it?
Britney

Farewell Rosie

Rosie O’Donnell won’t be returning to the View, effective immediately. Although she announced her resignation a while back, she was supposed to stick it out until June 20. Of course, this announcement comes just days after her most heated “debate” with Elisabeth Hasselbeck. I use quotes because it’s not a debate, so much as them screaming over each other, and looking really angry while not making a lot of sense. I’ve watched the clip twice and I still can’t quite figure out what arguments are being made on either side.

Anyway, I’m sorry to see Rosie go. Say what you will about her, but she certainly put the View back on the public radar, which is more than I can say for the one-woman snooze machine that is Meredith Vieira.

Watch your back, Meme Roth!

As a quick follow up to yesterday’s post about Jordin Sparks’s alleged obesity, here is the video segment featuring Meme Roth on Fox News, basically goading countless teenage girls into bulimia. Watching the clip actually made me want to punch this Roth woman in the face. Thank goodness they had Ramin there to tell her she is a crazy, hurtful, destructive bitch. Meme Roth, you are officially on my list!

Jordin Sparks is Perfectly Lovely

For someone who doesn’t watch American Idol, I sure do spend a lot of time blogging about it. I can’t help it if the show is imbedded in the American consciousness, and occasionally raises some interesting issues. Take, for instance, something I read this morning on idontlikeyouinthatway.com:

Meme Roth of National Action Against Obesity is going to be pissed today because she said Jordin Sparks is too obese to win American Idol. Roth says that Sparks, the 17 year old winner of this year’s American Idol and daughter of former NFL cornerback Phillippi Sparks, sends a bad message to a society in the midst of child obesity crisis.

“When I look at Jordin, what I see is heart disease, I see diabetes, I see high cholesterol.”

Ooooh, Meme Roth, don’t you even! I was just remarking last night how beautiful Jordin is, and how refreshing it will be to have a teenager in the spotlight who doesn’t look like a human Bratz doll. She is a tall girl, and I would say height/weight proportional. Not by any stretch of the imagination is she obese. Perhaps Meme should expand her efforts to include all manners of eating disorders, and concentrate on helping children and young adults gain a healthy body image, instead of condemning them for not all being built like waifs. And when she’s done there, she can kiss Tyra’s fat ass!
Jordin and Ryan

Jakey Takes a Nap

How come when Jake Gyllenhaal falls asleep on a train he looks like a peaceful little angel, and when I do it, my seatmate elbows me in the ribs to tell me to quit drooling on her neck pillow, and by the way, you spilled an entire glass of wine on yourself while you were passed out? Actually, don’t answer that. I know why. It’s because he’s so darn dreamy!

JAke Naps

King of Pop, Rock, and Rubberheads

I found this article yesterday, on Radar, but it’s taken me this long to formulate a coherent thought on this little item.

Rubberheads

Are you perplexed? This is a contract Michael Jackson drew up, that all the members of his creepily-named Rubberhead club had to sign, in order to join. All in all, it’s not anything overtly sexual, or damning (except for maybe the comment about having to be in bed alone by 3 am). It’s just weird as hell. Much like MJ himself. It just makes me think that he really does fancy himself the leader of the Lost Boys.
If you want to read something REALLY creepy, check out this little note from Michael, asking DeeDee (Tito’s now-deceased wife) to warn her three sons (Taj, TJ, and Taryll) about the dangers of being molested by a relative – “even [by] uncles or aunts.”

molestation note

I just… don’t know what to say. I miss the old Michael Jackson.