Monthly Archives: March 2007

BREAKING NEWS: Duck and cover! Oh no, wait… what?

The hills of Los Angeles are burning! You can practically see my apartment in this photo (groupie/stalkers take note!), so I am a little concerned that I will go home to find the cat I am petsitting on what used to be my front stoop, carrying the only things he was able to save from the flames: a hair scrunchy and seven Iams kibbles. Hey, he had to prioritize, and he couldn’t lift my collection of Keanu DVDs.

Fox 11’s coverage of the fire is here, but I warn you it’s pretty uneventful. To summarize, there is a big ass fire, but so far nothing bad has happened as a result.

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Glittering in the Afterlife

Dave’s Daily, your source for bizarre news from around the world, gives us this little tid bit for today:

“A German court was asked to decide on Tuesday in the case of a family divided over whether a dead man’s ashes should be transformed into a diamond. The court heard that the man’s daughter wants to send the ashes to Switzerland to be turned into a “memorial” diamond, a technique which originated in the United States but is becoming popular in Europe. The woman claims that her father told her before his death from cancer last year that he wanted to be immortalized as a diamond.
But the man’s wife disputes her daughter’s claim, saying he had wanted the urn of his ashes to be buried in a cemetery. The court in the southwestern city of Wiesbaden is expected to give its ruling next Tuesday. In the process, the ashes are subjected to intense heat to produce graphite which is then pressed to produce a raw crystal that is then polished and cut into a synthetic diamond.”

Okay, first of all, what is the point of cremating someone, only to then bury the urn in the cemetery? Is it just a space-saving technique? Seems a little strange to me, but then again, the Germans have never been normal.
Secondly, I, Mad Megan, being of sound mind and body, as my last will and testament, want my ashes to be compressed into a diamond. You all can fight over who gets to wear me. Also, I will try to get really really fat before I die, so I can get that puppy up to a karat or so. You’re welcome.

Lastly, shout out, Wiesbaden! Was ist auf?

Sanjaya Lives

Well folks, I don’t know how many of you watch American Idol. I know I don’t. But even those that are so totally over watching kids mutilate pop songs in the nation’s largest popularity contest have heard of Sanjaya. He’s got fans (“Save Sanjaya!”) and detractors (“I’d rather literally starve myself to death than hear him sing!”), but the one thing no one argues over, is his hair. Last night, apparently, took that appeal to a whole new level.

TMZ.com put the little comparative graphic in there, and I can’t say I disagree. But I believe I made my point earlier about hair being the deciding factor in this contest. So congratulations Sanjaya, according to my calculations, you have just scored yourself another week on the Idol stage. How’s about you actually sing something this time?

Also, does he remind anyone else of a young Michael Jackson? Pre-crazy? Without the musical talent? No? Just me then.

We are all Sheep! And Eddie Griffin is the Shepard.

TMZ.com is constantly getting celebrity gossip “scoops” but most of the time their commentary is pretty worthless. However, they might just be on to something with their evaluation of Eddie Griffin’s car crash while “rehearsing for an upcoming charity event,” this morning.

Did you notice the guy standing by nonchalantly as a $1.5 million dollar car came screeching toward him, with only six inches of concrete between him and death? If this crash were legit, that guy would be running for his life as soon as the car hit that first cone. I hate it when we are all unexpectedly duped by enterprising viral marketers (unless it’s me)!

Finally, a Club for the rest of us

Seriously, I don’t know why this looks like the funnest club ever, but I am totally joining. Okay, I am not gay, or a millionaire, and I don’t know how to play the piano while laughingly/lovely gazing at my significant other, but I don’t think that should exclude me. That would just be heterophobic/classist/anti-non-musically-gifted-people. And no one wants that on their conscience.

By the way, I love how “extraordinary men ages 25-39 join free.” Like a membership fee would be a total deterrent to ambitious men-loving millionaires. This is basically an invitation to lie about your income level while trolling for a sugardaddy. Yeah, I still want to join though.

Tonight We Dine in HECK

Even though a rag-tag band of toxic-waste-ily mutated adolescent tortoises knocked 300 out of the top spot at the box office this weekend, it has still grossed an impressive $162 million in only 3 weeks. I still haven’t seen it, and thought I never would. Who wants to watch a bunch of half-naked warriors with huge spears getting all sweaty… and dirty… and what was I saying? I dunno. But after seeing this trailer, I kind of want to buy a ticket. If only for the flying super-dog sequence, and the gratuitous cake shots. Remember kids, brush your teeth after you and your little Spartan friends help usher in the world’s first democracy!

No such thing as a free lunch? Check again!

Nothing gets the Hollywood crowd quite as excited as a new restaurant coming to our side of town. Doughboys Bakery has been taunting us with their “coming soon” signage for months, so imagine my delight when I learned they will be opening their doors this Monday, March 26! Delight turned quickly to elation when I heard rumblings of a “soft open” and “free full menu.” Needless to say, I hightailed it down to Lexington and Highland, and grinned my way into a seat at the invite-only event.
Of course, free food always tastes better. But it’s hard to imagine that paying our paltry $24 check at the end would have tainted our meal. The service was instantly accommodating. Even though they were still working out a few kinks in the system, our waiter was so friendly that we didn’t mind repeating the order once or twice. They have a fancy-shmancy computer system that allows their servers to enter the order tableside, and then sends the information directly back to the kitchen. No muss, no fuss. And practically no wait. Our chicken potpie and roasted turkey sandwich were up in no time, despite the fact that I swear they were prepared fresh for us. The potpie has to be made ahead of time, but I couldn’t detect any signs of having been frozen, or even refrigerated. The sandwich came stuffed with blue cheese, which complemented the roasted taste of the turkey, and the sweetness of the honey mustard brilliantly.
So, if you’re in the area, check out the new Doughboys. You might just see me there!