And the winner is…

The Sasquatch Gang tickets and prize pack goes to 2.0! Congratulations! Now, everyone else out there, go watch the movie this weekend, and report back here on Monday.

Is fork-lift-license-aphobia a thing?

Because I now have it.

(Fast forward to around 2:20, when things start to get good.)

Had Enough?

With all this Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5 talk, I thought I might celebrate Feel Good Friday with a little vintage Michael. And if one MJJ isn’t enough for you, you’ll particularly appreciate the moment when there are suddenly three of him. Classic.

Ah, that hit the spot. Who’s up for a rousing game of marbles?

The Movie Formerly Known as the Sasquatch Dumpling Gang

Hope you’re not sick of free stuff yet, because I am not sick of giving it away! This time I have a pair of tickets to see The Sasquatch Gang (personally, I miss the Apple Dumpling Gang shout out, don’t you?), opening in limited markets tomorrow! Due to the limited release, the ticket giveaway is only open to residents of Los Angeles County (or people who want to drive to the Regency Fairfax on Beverly Blvd.). But don’t despair! I also have a pack of mouthwatering Jack Link’s “Triple Threat” beef jerky to give away, as well as a nifty Sasquatch Gang t-shirt, and a poster from the film.

All you have to do is leave a comment on this post before 6 pm PST on 11/30, telling me which celebrity you think most looks like a Sasquatch. My pick is Britney Spears. Now you go.

One winner will be drawn at random by me on Friday November 30, 2007. The winner will receive their ticket passes via email. If the person drawn does not live in the Los Angeles area, they will receive the beef jerky, t-shirt, and poster, and a different winner will be selected to receive the tickets. Good luck!

Yes We Can Have It All!

Tomorrow night’s episode of Iconoclasts pairs none other than the first female Secretary of State, Madeleine Albright, with Ashley “The Hot Sister” Judd. I think there is something funny about Ashley telling Madeleine about how she’s managed to “have it all” in the clip below.

Just for some perspective — Madeleine was born in then Czechoslovakia, but fled to London with her family at the start of WWII. When the Communists assumed power, they moved again, this time to the US. She later married, had three daughters, learned Russian, and got a PhD in Public Law and Government. All this, of course, before being unanimously voted in as Secretary of State in 1996.

Ashley Judd’s credits include Double Jeopardy and Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Yes, she certainly could teach Ms. Albright a thing or two about being an Iconoclast.

But hey, don’t take my word for it! Enter to win this Iconoclasts prize pack, for a chance to evaluate Ashley’s latest work, Come Early Morning. Also included are: a copy of Into the Wild (the Krakauer book, not the Penn film), an Alicia Keys CD, Deepak Chopra’s book, a $5 Starbucks gift certificate, and a Wynton Marsalis CD.

All you have to do is leave a comment on this post telling me which two people you’d like to see paired up on the next season of Iconoclasts (and no, Björk and Charles Barkley don’t count), before midnight on 12/5. The winner will be picked by me, at random. Good luck!

I Want Them Back

Looks like the long-rumored, heretofore-mythical Jackson 5 reunion may actually be happening!

The Jackson Five are to reunite for a tour, with Michael Jackson set to take part, brother Jermaine has said. He told BBC 6 Music that concert dates have been discussed and could take place “sometime in 2008”.
…
The group last toured as The Jacksons – with six members – in support of the Victory album in 1984. Lead singer Michael, who had already released the million-selling Thriller album, was reportedly reluctant to go on the road with his brothers. He told the audience on the last night of the tour that he was leaving the group. They released one more album, 1989’s 2300 Jackson Street, before formally disbanding in 1990.
Rumours of a reunion have circulated for years, and Jermaine confirmed that the project was delayed by Michael’s trial for child abuse in 2005.
Jermaine, who sang lead vocals for the band until his younger brother took over, added that Michael would definitely be part of the reunion. “He has to be,” he said. “He is a Jackson. He was at the meetings. Michael will be involved.”
The star also hinted at new material, saying that the band was “in the studio at the moment”.
The Jacksons – featuring brothers Tito, Marlon, Jackie, Jermaine, Michael and Randy, found fame in the 1970s with hits such as I Want You Back, ABC and Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground) and Can You Feel It.

Hm, Jermaine was their source? Appearing in Celebrity Big Brother doesn’t exactly make him a reliable media outlet, but I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt — on one condition. I want fringe. Fringe and afros. And here’s hoping they revive their kicky choreography!

Your Thanksgiving of Repose

Gentle readers, the time for giving thanks for a bountiful harvest has finally arrived. Of course, the crop I am referring to is not agricultural, but rather cinematical. Now that summer is over, and autumn’s “movie dead zone” has passed, we can finally start with the Oscar contenders — the “real” movies, if you will. If you find the energy to pry yourself off the couch this long weekend, might I suggest taking in a flicker?

Opening today is August Rush, which is basically like “Field of Dreams” — if he plays it, they will come. Only instead of baseball, it’s music. And no one is dead (that I know of). And instead of Kevin Costner, it’s Freddie Highmore…. Okay so it’s nothing like Field of Dreams.

Of course, I understand that leaving the house on Thursday is generally not advisable, unless you’re willing to sit in traffic for three hours just to get to your local cinema. In this case, might I suggest the Sundance Channel’s series, Iconoclasts, for your viewing pleasure? This week features Iron Chef John Besh, and Jazz Legend Wynton Marsalis, as they wreck havoc on New Orleans.

Happy Thanksgiving, see you next week!

Britney’s Tragic Past, as told by Us Weekly

It stopped being fun to tear down Britney Spears somewhere around the time of her losing both her kids to ol’ Weasel-face Federline, but apparently Us Weekly didn’t get that memo.

Britney Spears made a name for herself as a happy, wholesome pop star who was saving herself for marriage.

But lawyer Eric Ervin, who worked with Spears as a teenager, tells Us Weekly in its new cover story that the “virgin” image Spears portrayed was, in his words, a “PR blitz.” In fact, Us reports in its new issue that Spears lost her virginity at 14 to boyfriend Reg Jones, and that she and Justin Timberlake were intimate from the beginning.

Something Spears also kept secret: Her family’s tragic history.

Us has learned that Spears’ paternal grandmother, Emma Jean Spears, in June 1966 committed suicide at age 31. Britney’s grandmother, who suffered from depression, shot herself in the chest with a shotgun at the grave of her infant son who had died eight years earlier just three days after being born.

A local newspaper article obtained by Us reported at the time: “The shotgun had been pressed against the woman’s chest and she apparently pulled the trigger with a toe of the right foot from which a shoe had been removed.” The newspaper reported that Emma Jean had attempted suicide three times before.

Oh my goodness! The grandmother suicide is a tragic event, and a lesser person might make a really distasteful joke about how you know you’re a redneck if you commit suicide with a shot gun by pulling the trigger with your bare feet. Lucky for you, readers, I am not that person.

But seriously, did the sex at fourteen thing really surprise anyone? Correct me if I’m wrong, but did anyone ever believe BritBrit was saving herself for marriage? I remember somewhere around the time Jessica Simpson was touting her virginity, Britney mentioning that she too was pure, but people pretty much laughed it off. In case you don’t remember why, here’s a little reminder.

I didn’t actually like Britney Spears then, but knowing what I know now, I am finding the Ghost of Britney Past rather enjoyable. There is a distinct lack of vagina here that one can only truly appreciate after they’ve been to the other side… shudder.

Feel Good Friday: History of Racism Edition

Well friends, I am back from my dark period, and ready to brighten up your Friday with a little racial injustice. No, it’s a good thing! Really! Racism is funny! What’s that? It’s NOT funny? Well has anybody told Disney?

Hm, offensive to Indians and mother-in-laws. Well played, Disney. If that doesn’t convince you, click here for a list of the Top Nine Most Racist Disney Characters from Cracked.com. Happy Pre-Thanksgiving, Red Men!

Solidarity!

TheTVAddict.com says I am supposed to show my support for the writer’s strike by going dark. Hm, I can be lazy AND make a statement? Sounds like my kind of party!