Britney’s Tragic Past, as told by Us Weekly

It stopped being fun to tear down Britney Spears somewhere around the time of her losing both her kids to ol’ Weasel-face Federline, but apparently Us Weekly didn’t get that memo.

Britney Spears made a name for herself as a happy, wholesome pop star who was saving herself for marriage.

But lawyer Eric Ervin, who worked with Spears as a teenager, tells Us Weekly in its new cover story that the “virgin” image Spears portrayed was, in his words, a “PR blitz.” In fact, Us reports in its new issue that Spears lost her virginity at 14 to boyfriend Reg Jones, and that she and Justin Timberlake were intimate from the beginning.

Something Spears also kept secret: Her family’s tragic history.

Us has learned that Spears’ paternal grandmother, Emma Jean Spears, in June 1966 committed suicide at age 31. Britney’s grandmother, who suffered from depression, shot herself in the chest with a shotgun at the grave of her infant son who had died eight years earlier just three days after being born.

A local newspaper article obtained by Us reported at the time: “The shotgun had been pressed against the woman’s chest and she apparently pulled the trigger with a toe of the right foot from which a shoe had been removed.” The newspaper reported that Emma Jean had attempted suicide three times before.

Oh my goodness! The grandmother suicide is a tragic event, and a lesser person might make a really distasteful joke about how you know you’re a redneck if you commit suicide with a shot gun by pulling the trigger with your bare feet. Lucky for you, readers, I am not that person.

But seriously, did the sex at fourteen thing really surprise anyone? Correct me if I’m wrong, but did anyone ever believe BritBrit was saving herself for marriage? I remember somewhere around the time Jessica Simpson was touting her virginity, Britney mentioning that she too was pure, but people pretty much laughed it off. In case you don’t remember why, here’s a little reminder.

I didn’t actually like Britney Spears then, but knowing what I know now, I am finding the Ghost of Britney Past rather enjoyable. There is a distinct lack of vagina here that one can only truly appreciate after they’ve been to the other side… shudder.


2 responses to “Britney’s Tragic Past, as told by Us Weekly

  1. Pingback: Britney Spears » Britney’s Tragic Past, as told by Us Weekly

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