Apologies for the protracted absence, dear readers. I was buried under a pile of festering Britney Spears news flashes, and I just now clawed my way into the daylight. It was touch-and-go there for a while, but I think I’ll be alright.
In case you were wondering, Britney has pink eye, overnight visitation, an unhealthy affinity for her dog, a bitchy little sister, and an exposed vagina (yes, again). But hey, at least she made it to her court hearing! Hurray! Score one for Team Spears!
“I’m doing good,” Spears said in response to a reporter’s question as she headed into court dressed in blue jeans, a long black sweater and wearing aviator sunglasses. She sipped from a Coca-Cola can as she approached the courtroom. An attorney took it from her and placed it on a bench as she entered.
Spears played nervously with her jeans pocket as she stood to be sworn in.
Spears was asked her name and replied, “Britney.”
“Britney Spears,” she added when Gordon asked her to give her full name.
Hey, she didn’t respond “It’s Britney, bitch!” when prompted for her name, and they managed to pry the Coke can from her dirty paws. I hope it’s not too soon to predict a complete 180 degree reform. Mark my words, friends, we’re looking at a whole new Britster!
Okay, yeah, forget it, she’s totally done.