Mayday Aboard the S.S. Lohan

Confirming what we all pretty much knew already, Lindsay Lohan told Allure magazine that rehab was basically a big ol’ waste of time.

“The 20-year-old talks about her recent trip to rehab, saying, ‘It’s so weird that I went to rehab. I always said I would die before I went to rehab.’
Even though she’s under the legal drinking age, Lindsay says she has no intention of giving up her late-night club hopping. “That’s my life!” she says. In fact, she tells the magazine — after a year of attending AA meetings — “I don’t know that I’m necessarily an addict.””

Well, there you go. Rehab money well spent. Also, I heard on the radio this morning that she was drinking sake in a Japanese restaurant last night, so I guess skipping the “admit you have a problem” step was her undoing.

Later in the same article is this horror-inducing quote:

“’I felt like a second parent in the sense that I helped raise my family… When my friends and family are around me I feel like they’re safe,’ she says. ‘When my friends have left me — I’ve just seen everything collapse. They’re not safe without me.’”

Oh man. If LiLo is the one holding that together, I do NOT want to be there when that ship goes down. And it IS going down, my friends. It’s only a matter of time before James Cameron starts exploring the wreckage.

Read ET’s synopsis of the Allure article here.



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