It has always been thus. When Angelina Jolie adds a cute little ragamuffin orphan to her ever-growing brood, other celebs come running from far and near to jump on the bandwagon. You may have heard recent rumors that Jessica Simpson might adopt (I heard she donated a nifty minivan to the orphanage instead). And as proof that no one is safe from her influence, even Angelina herself might be adopting again. But the latest, and by far most Child-Protective-Services-rallying, celeb to join the baby-buying craze is none other than my old friend, Mariah Carey.
“The ‘Heartbreaker’ singer visited a Mexican orphanage with her lawyer recently, according to gossips there, and is possibly interested in adopting one of the children. Carey spent time at the Frank Gonzalez orphanage in Mexico, according to Carey fan sites, which quote a Latin-oriented radio program called ‘America Showbiz.’”
Now, Mariah Carey is (probably) a lovely person. She called me “darling” once, which was just as endearing as it was condescending. But she is also the most self-absorbed person on the planet, with the possible exception of… no, wait. I can’t think of any exceptions. Let’s just say she is not the mothering type. Unless she can adopt a whole batch of kindergarten-aged orphans, and put them all to work hot-gluing Swarovski crystals on to her micro-shorts and midriff tops. In which case, count me in too. I have a Bedazzler that hasn’t been used in months!