All Paparazzi Must Die

Eventually. Of natural causes. I am not advocating celeb-on-paparazzi violence here (okay, I totally am). However, it does seem to be the new trend in Hollywood. So you can imagine my surprise to discover that trend-bucker, and all-around-heart-throb Keanu Reeves is jumping on the band wagon.

“ Keanu Reeves was behind the wheel of a Porsche that allegedly grazed a celebrity photographer standing in the path of the sports car, investigators said Tuesday. The photographer fell to the ground and paramedics were called after Reeves’ car allegedly struck the man at 7:30 p.m. Monday, said Deputy Ed Hernandez of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department…The photographer, whose name wasn’t released, was taken to a local hospital for treatment of unknown injuries, Hernandez said. The Sheriff’s Department was investigating.
Reeves’ films include “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” “My Own Private Idaho,” “Speed,” “Johnny Mnemonic” and “The Matrix.” He also plays in the band Dogstar. “

Okay, FIRST of all, Keanu is no longer in Dogstar, and hasn’t been for years, Yahoo not-so-News! Secondly, it’s one thing when the paprazzi hang out in front of the Ivy trying to get snaps. But in a residential area? How’d they even know he was going to be there? I mean, I knew, but I have my own set of issues. And nightvision goggles. And a subscription to “Celebrity Stalkers Monthly” magazine.


One response to “All Paparazzi Must Die

  1. In the absence of a virus that wipes out all paparazzi in 24 horribly painful hours, the celebs should rise up and take them on with a class action lawsuit. Or at the very least, there needs to be a more concerted effort to bring these assholes that only feed assholes that buy magazines and watch Extra, Entertainment Tonight, etc. to court under harassment charges. I cannot stalk anyone in this society–I’d be sued for harassment. The same laws that apply to me apply to the Paparazzi assholes. Simple. Without Paparazzi, Brittany would probably be better, Heath Ledger may not have had to be on so many pain killers, Princess Diana would still be alive, and we wouldn’t have needed to watch the movie “Paparazzi”. Utopia? Well, one step closer.

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