Why Does Everyone Think I’m Gay? And Where’s My Appletini?

In an announcement sure to rock the very foundations of convenient celebrity marriages that last less than six months, Kenny Chesney has come out of the closet. The straight closet, that is. He will appear on 60 Minutes this weekend to dredge up a two-year-old rumor, and then bitch about how the rumor has dogged him. I don’t know about you guys, but I forgot Kenny Chesney exsisted, gay or straight. If this is what he has to do to drum up publicity for his tour this summer, I think it’s safe to say that rest of the world has similarly forgotten.

Also, just a quick side note to actors/singer/celebrities that are fighting similar gay rumors: If you don’t want people to think you’re gay, fire your stylist. Throw away the skinny jeans, quit plucking your eyebrows and Mystic Tanning your abs. Show up to a few events looking like you just rolled out of bed, and people will stop assuming you sleep with men. Also, don’t pick up any more trannies on Santa Monica Blvd. Word travels fast, especially in WeHo.

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One response to “Why Does Everyone Think I’m Gay? And Where’s My Appletini?

  1. Throw a grenade up in that closet.

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