Isaac on Britney: Shy, Heartbroken, Not-at-all Trashy

Because it’s been too long since I have dipped into the Britney Spears file (I was trying to class up the blog. Eh, oh well): British tabloid News of the World has an exclusive look at “Britney’s Booze & Sex Agony,” featuring an interview with her ex-lover, Isaac Cohen.

Isaac said: “By the time I met Britney she was burnt out. She knew she had been drinking and partying as a way to try to banish the bad stuff from her life. Far from the trashy drunk, I saw a very shy, sweet girl who was just desperately sad about what had happened with her marriage.”

Hm, does this smack of a publicist-generated hunt for sympathy? Read on…

“Yes she enjoyed Jack Daniel’s but she was trying not to get in the state she had been in with Paris. Her boys mean everything to her and she worried she might lose them in a custody battle.”

Ah ha, the other shoe drops. Old Brit and her people may not be as dumb as they look (humanly impossible). Could it be that they offered a wannabe model/actor some money to date Britney for a few weeks, then conjured up a pretty little story about what a lovely person she is, completely undeserving of her Cheeto-eating, bare-foot-truck-stop-restroom-using, white-trash reputation, just in time for the upcoming custody battle? Oh, and in case you doubt me:

“She has an amazing body and I loved exploring every inch of it.”

Okay now we KNOW he’s lying.

UPDATE: in the time it took me to type this, the headline went from “Britney’s Booze & Sex Agony” to “Tortured Britney’s on the Edge of Abyss”! Wow! Sensational British Tabloid Journalism!

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