Is it too soon for a conspiracy theory?

I just watched the press conference on the results of Anna Nicole’s autopsy. It was nothing revolutionary, but they did say she had been sick with flu-like symptoms for a few days, which is presumably why she had a private nurse staying with her. Maybe it’s just the insane melodrama of her life that has given me this sudden propensity for conspiracy theories, but I have come to the conclusion that there are only two possibilities here:
1) She faked her own death
2) She was bumped off by someone who wanted to inherit her millions

Now, I know she didn’t really have the millions, but the son of her late husband, who originally inherited the money, recently died, and the case is now back in the courts. With Anna Nicole and her son out of the way, her baby daughter stands to get the fortune, if the court rules in Smith’s favor. And really, what is more likely to cause a surge of good will than a tragic death? If this is the case, the culprit has to be the biological father of her baby, whoever that is. I guess we’ll wait for the paternity test before this theory is further tested.
All the above notwithstanding, I am leaning towards #1: faked her own death. And not just because I believe Anna Nicole was a devoted My Name is Earl fan.
Think about it, who would tape someone giving a dying (or dead) person CPR and then have the bad taste to sell the video, unless it’s to dissuade rumors that she might still be alive? Not to mention the fact that the $500k from that sale would make for a nice little escape fund. (Does this remind anyone else of the time she sold the last photos of her son Daniel, taken just before he died last year, for between $400,000 and $600,000?) So, in order to get out of the myriad legal entanglements she was embroiled in, Anna Nicole fakes her death, sells the video to “prove” it, then escapes to some remote island to live the rest of her life in peace. Meanwhile, her doting lawyer/maybe-husband fights for custody of her daughter and her millions, then joins her in paradise. And if that really did happen, what a perfect ending to a historically histrionic story. Dibs on the Lifetime Movie of the Week!

2 responses to “Is it too soon for a conspiracy theory?

  1. I’m the father of her baby.

  2. No-no! I’m the father of her baby.

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