Panned Labyrinth

Do you sleep at night? Maybe a little too well? If you’d like to put an end to that, by all means, go see Pan’s Labyrinth. However, if you’d like to believe that the world is a safe place full of love and beauty, do NOT watch this movie. DON’T DO IT!

Things you should know: First of all, it is in no way related to Peter Pan. Secondly, it is possibly the most senselessly violent movie I have ever seen. Thirdly, it is filled with ugly – ugly bugs, ugly mystical creatures, ugly Spanish facists. Also, it is subtitled, which I generally don’t mind, but I like to know going in. Now I know it is rated R, but I thought it might be the Spanish Chronicles of Narnia. And I was right, if Chronicles of Narnia were mixed with Apocalytpo, minus the charm and set in Facist Spain. Watch this trailer, and mentally multiply the implied torture scenes by a thousand, and know that all the scenes of the magical underworld comprise the last 2 minutes of the film.

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