With all the holiday/birthday hubbub, I almost forgot what time of year it is! No, not Christmas. It’s time for KROQ’s annual Miss Double-December contest, wherein woman compete to show off their boobs in exchange for free admission to all of KROQ’s events (hey, if you got it, flaunt it, especially if it gets you into the Weenie Roast). I’m not particularly on board with the contest, but the other morning I heard something that caught me off guard. The Miss Double-December theme song is crass (as you can imagine), and contains the line “my penis is getting hard.” They’ve been playing this contest theme song for years without editing. But the other morning, they suddenly started dropping the word “penis.” Apparently someone complained. Then this morning, I received an email from a friend, asking me to write a letter of complaint to email@example.com. He felt, as I do, that “penis” is a perfectly acceptable, clinical word, and we shouldn’t be forced to censor any mention of sex and genitalia from our society. Besides, the word “genitalia” is far grosser than “penis.” So, I wrote the following letter to KROQ. If you’re on board with this cause, feel free to join in.
Unnecessary censoring of Miss Double December Theme Song
To Whom It May Concern:
It astounds me that a KROQ listener would be offended by the word “penis,” when your entire show is centered around making fun of Mexicans, retards, stoners, Bean, and the occasional fatty. Furthermore, the theme song is probably the LEAST offensive part of a contest that encourages women to send in scantily clad photos of themselves, in the hopes that their breasts will be chosen to represent your radio program in the following year.
More shocking, however, is that any of you gave a damn. The Kevin and Bean I know and love would’ve read the complaint on air, then had The King of Mexico go out on the street and yell “penis” at people to gauge their reactions. I am shaking my head at you in disappointment. If I didn’t want to hear the word penis in the morning, I would listen to KOST 103.5.
Screw the FCC,