12 Days of Christmas

Since today is Friday, and I typically don’t post on weekends, I thought I would give you all your ninth day of Christmas present a tad early. If you haven’t already, go out and see The Holiday this weekend! It’s emotionally draining, but so completely worth it. And yes, in the spirit of nine ladies dancing, Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet do get their groove on in the film.

Eight maids a-milking

Most of the stuff google turned up for “Milk Maids” was pornographic, so you’re going to have to content yourself with this Happy Cows cheese commercial. Merry 8th day of Christmas!

Seven swans a-swimming

Just because Lost is on hiatus for the winter, doesn’t mean you can’t have a little vague, confusing, should-mean-something-but-really-only-makes-you-feel-stupid Dharma Initiative in your holiday season!

Six geese a-laying

Oh, if only the The Asian American Journalists Association could see this! Ralphie would be getting more than an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle for Christmas!

Five golden rings
Peace on Earth and goodwill towards men? Well, how about a clockwork train?

This is the second half of the above clip, in case you are like me, and just can’t get enough of Eddie Izzard.

Four calling birds

With all the Christmas hoopla, I almost forgot to pay tribute to the Other Winter Holiday: Hanukkah! Or, as I like to call it, Chanukah (because I am a big fan of extraneous c’s). So, even though this is the 6th day of Chanukah, and the clip has nothing to do with calling birds, I hope you enjoy it, nonetheless. Shalom! A gezunt ahf dein kop! A glick ahf dir!

Three French hens

I couldn’t let an entire Holiday season pass without posting a little something on the Greatest Christmas Movie Featuring Keanu Reeves and Drew Barrymore Singing a Song About Cincinnati of all time! Just a warning, you will not be able to watch the film without craving cookies for at least twenty-four hours afterwards.

An Early Christmas

I’ll be on “vacation” as of three o’clock this afternoon, and therefore may not be able to post the final two installments of the Twelve Days of Christmas Extravaganza that has no doubt entertained and cheer-a-fied you all up until now. Rather than chance it, I am going to just post the last two days now, and trust you all not to open until Christmas. On your honor now! Santa will know!

Two turtledoves

Ah yes, everybody’s favorite turtledoves, Tom and Katie, are wishing you a very Merry Christmas too. And in case you don’t believe me, you can go down to Hollywood Blvd and witness the glory that is L. Ron Hubbard’s Winter Wonderland. No, I am not kidding. I got my picture taken with Santa, and I didn’t have to make a donation, take a personality test, hook up to an e-meter, or vow to dedicate my life to a thetan-free existence. Very generous of you, Scientologists! Merry Christmas Xenu!

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And a partridge in a pear tree! 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

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