1958 – 2009

We’ll never forget you Michael.

Feel Good Friday: Indian Thriller Edition

We’ve seen the Filipino Prison version, now quench your thirst for Friday Funk with Indian Thriller!

Sidebar, did I ever tell you about the Nippley Man I met? He ate my motorboat.

Have You Seen His Childhood?

Say what you will about Michael Jackson, but if this article doesn’t make your heart ache for him, you probably have no soul.

He has even begun to regret having plastic surgery and spends much of his time staring at his reflection in the mirror.

‘I don’t know what I was thinking back then,’ he recently said. ‘Everyone makes mistakes when they’re young, I guess. But I still look OK, don’t I? I mean, for 40?’

When reminded that, in fact, he was about to turn 50, Jackson gave a sad, half smile.

‘It all went by so fast, didn’t it? I wish I could do it all over again, I really do.’

But for Michael Jackson, it seems, the time for a comeback has passed. ‘I’m tired,’ he said last week. ‘I’ve got nothing left to give. I just want to be left alone. Is that so bad?’

As if that isn’t bad enough, they’ve got a digital age-progression photo of how Michael may have looked, had he never undergone the knife.

Kind of normal and attractive, no? I weep for all the things that could have been.

Hey (pre-teen) Ladies!

TwitchFilm has the first photos of my main man, Zac Efron, in character as “Richard” in the upcoming Linklater flick “Me and Orson Welles”!

“The story of a whirlwind week in 1937 NYC when a young aspiring actor (Efron) is thrown into the middle of Orson Welles’ Mercury Theatre Company on the eve of the opening of Welles’ historic staging of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. During this week, Richard will find romance with a worldly older woman (Claire Danes), become immersed in a creative experience few are afforded, and learn the downside of crossing the imperious, brilliant Welles (strikingly portrayed by newcomer Christian McKay).  Richard is about to grow up FAST.”

How fast? Fast enough to make him age-appropriate for a hypothetical 20-something blogger with a comprehensive knowledge of several High School Musical dance routines?

In a related matter, this morning a google ad asked me who was hotter, Zefron or the Jonas Brothers. Talk about a no-brainer! The Jonas Brothers don’t even actually exist! Psssht.

Crying on the inside…

Okay fine, and also maybe a little on the outside. Estelle Getty died this morning, at age 84. I kind of thought she was in her 80s back in the 1980s, so I was a little surprised that she’d held out this long. That doesn’t make it any less sad though, so I leave you with a tribute to the genius of Sofia Petrillo. May she rest in peace.

Why So Serious?

The Joker strikes again! The official Dark Knight site has been vandalized this morning, continuing the brilliant viral campaign that has been piquing interest in the Dark Knight for months now. Check out the site, and be mightily impressed by the Joker’s handiwork. Then pre-order your tickets — the movie comes out in one week!

Celebrity Death Watch

Some might think it a bit tasteless to be forecasting the death of a well-beloved comedian. I, however, jumped that shark years ago, with Phil Hartman… and Chris Farley. So no harm in going for the trifecta, right?

Apparently Don Rickles just canceled all his Vegas show dates. It’s not that I am hoping he dies, it’s just that if/when he does, I want to be able to say I told you so. So, someone start the countdown clock. I give him six months, starting… NOW!

It Shook Me Alright

Oh no, no, no…

Celine Dion sings AC/DC? WTF? And who is the tranny she is duetting with? Did Ellen condone this performance? So many questions, I am afraid it would be better to just forget we ever saw this travesty.

Click here if you need to cleanse your palette with the real thing.

Pre-Emptive Feel Good Friday

Tomorrow is that most venerable American holiday, Independence Day. To celebrate, I present you with a “spectacular” tribute to both America and Neil Diamond.

So go out and join the 40 million other Americans paying $4 per gallon to inch along the freeways (or more, if you’re a lucky Southern Californian!), and grill a hot dog in the name of freedom. Don’t worry, cholesterol consumed on Federal Holidays doesn’t count!

Happy 4th of July everyone!

The Day the Earth Stood Still Trailer!

Under normal circumstances, I would probably not be excited about this Day-After-Tomorrow-meets-Independence-Day-esque remake of the 1951 sci-fi film that I never saw. However, the movie stars Keanu Reeves as an alien who may or may not be trying to save the planet. Consider my ticket purchased.

“If the Earth dies, you die. If you die, the earth survives.” Say it with me now: Whoa!